Story time w/ Grape = me, talking to you, about a variety of different things. Got it? Good!
Today, I'm talking about COMING OUT and my experience with it.
FIGURING IT OUT.
I realised I was bisexual, which is what I first came out as, when I was 15. I was talking to a girl and the more we talked, the more my feelings for her grew and while for some, this may have been a big sign, it took me a few months after that for me to catch on. Although, having feelings for someone of the same sex doesn't necessarily mean that your sexuality is anything different to what your identify as - sexuality is fluid so just roll with it and identify with what you feel best suits you.
When I realised, it was a light bulb moment - the light lit up and the realisation sunk in that I'm into girls. Sometime later, how much I can't remember now, I came out as lesbian.
Looking back, I realised it was staring me in the face the whole time. Any interest in guys I had while at school was mostly based on my friends / other girls having interest in guys so that seemed like the normal thing to do. I'm not saying there wasn't some genuine interest there, I just knew that I'd rather put my effort into something other than chasing boys. I also had boyfriends while in school but again, it felt like things my friends made happen and I didn't have much interest in being couply with my new boyfriend. None of these relationship lasted long and never went further than a small kiss.
Having feelings and relationships with other girls felt so normal as well, which is why I feel it took me sometime to realise my sexuality while it was happening because I never felt the need to question it. I also still find guys attractive, because much like every other person, I can appreciate when someone is attractive.
COMING OUT TO MY FAMILY.
My mum was the first person I told.
As random as it seems, it was during a MSN conversation we were in with someone she knew. They were talking about their dislike for homosexual people and how they were going to end up in ditches, which is when I chimed in that as a bisexual, I knew I wouldn't end up in any ditches. Later on that day, my parents asked me if I was bisexual and I said yes. When I realised I was lesbian, I told my mum again and that was that.
I've been fortunate that my parents, as well as my siblings, have been supportive. My dad will occasionally have conversations with me about how happy he is that I could tell them something like this, that he is supportive of me and he'd never have any issue with it. My mum did tell me that it took sometime getting used to, especially when it came to seeing me with my first girlfriend, but she is supportive and accepting of me. I've never experienced any negativity or discrimination from other family members, who found out from my parents either.
I feel grateful to have the parents and family that I do because I know that not everyone will be meet with the same reaction when they come out to their families which I hate but unfortunately, the LGBTQIA community isn't something that is widely accepted in the world today - something I hope will one day change.
COMING OUT TO OTHERS.
The coming out never stops because you're always meeting new people. Whether it be new friends, work colleagues or maybe in some situations, strangers.
Unlike how I came out to my parents, I don't just straight up say "Hey, I'm a lesbian" because you don't see straight people telling others their straight, so I don't see the need to tell others I'm a lesbian. Instead, it's usually through conversations where I mention my partner, or something relating to my sexuality and it's done.
Again, I've never been met with any negativity or discrimination, although there has been a few instances when I've received comments like "How do you know you're gay if you've never been with a guy?" or "You're too pretty to be a lesbian". As well as other situations where despite knowing my sexuality, guys think they still have some sort of chance and that there will be just one kiss, or just one chance. I'd consider this, on some level, discrimination because it dismisses my sexuality in order to get what they want, with little or no respect to my lack of interest or desire to want to.
Again, I've never been met with any negativity or discrimination, although there has been a few instances when I've received comments like "How do you know you're gay if you've never been with a guy?" or "You're too pretty to be a lesbian". As well as other situations where despite knowing my sexuality, guys think they still have some sort of chance and that there will be just one kiss, or just one chance. I'd consider this, on some level, discrimination because it dismisses my sexuality in order to get what they want, with little or no respect to my lack of interest or desire to want to.
There has also been times while out in public holding hands with my partner at the time, where people have given us dirty looks but in situations like that, I simply brush it off. A dirty look isn't going to stop me being who I am.
SO..
That is my coming out experience, which compared to others is probably a walk in the park. As I previously said, I'm grateful to have very little negative experiences compared to others and I hope that one day, equality and equal rights for all of the LGBTQIA community is a reality and not something we have to fight for, the way we do today.
If you have any questions or comments, then make sure to leave them below and I'll happily respond. You can also check out the websites I listed below, if you're interested in more information on LGBTQIA and coming out, below!
News, entertainment and more for the ladies of the LGBTQIA.
A great site for help and advice, dedicated to making change happen.
Advice for all ages on coming out, via the Stonewall Website.
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