Story time w/ Grape // LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS

Today, I'm talking about LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS, something I've had plenty of experience with!

Long distance relationships or LDR for short is a relationship that is obviously long distance. It could be that you're in the same country but some miles apart or in completely different countries to each other.

Most of my relationships have been long distance relationships, most likely because I'm a shy person so meeting people out in the real world isn't easy for me so that meant the internet was were my relationships started. 

THE FIRST LDR.

You might remember from my post about coming out that I developed feelings for a girl, that girl became my first girlfriend and my first long distance relationship. She lived in Wales, while I live two and a half hours away. We were together for about three years altogether, two of which were spent waiting to meet each other. Yup, you read that right. Two years of the relationship was based purely on us talking daily whether it was via text or online, waiting for the day that we could finally meet face to face.

When we finally meet, we were joined by our parents. My dad, who travelled on the train to Wales with me and she was with her mum.. I guess in situations like these and considering our ages, it was best to have some parents around to make sure everything was okay and everyone was who they said they were. Thankfully, that was the case.

Our first meeting led to more meetings, one of which was behind her mums back as she wasn't too happy about our relationship, until eventually we split up. 

THE ONES THAT FOLLOWED.

One lead to another, and another.

The relationships that followed were a combination of long distances similar to my first and shorter distances that made things easier. As I got older and was able to travel on my own with the money that I'd earnt, it became easier to visit whoever I was currently with.

MY OPINION ON LDRS.

I feel the most common question relating to LDRs is "do they work?" and depending on who you are and what your experience is, the answer will obviously vary. 

My opinion is that they can work but it isn't easy. It's not something that gets easier the longer you're together either. Similar with any other relationship, you grown closer together and your feelings become stronger so the distance becomes harder to deal with but future plans can be made, people move and distances cane become shorter. It can work if you truly want it to, but it isn't for everyone.

If you have any comments or questions, feel free to post them below and I'll reply. Also, check out the links below for guides and tips for LDRs!

MY ADVICE FOR LDRS.

There are somethings I've learnt through my time in long distance relationships and hopefully these little piece of advice will be helpful.

• MAKE TIME FOR EACH OTHER: This might seem like a silly piece of advice because obviously you will but spending time talking to each other via Skype or over the phone when you can have each others undivided attention is always good. 
• SEND EACH OTHER THINGS: This can be anything from photos of yourself, things that remind you of each other and you could even send things via snail mail especially if you live a big distance from each other. Care packages for each other might help get through the harder days.
• COMMUNICATE WITH EACH OTHER: And I'm not talking about daily conversation. If you have any issues or you're having a hard time, talk about it. As previously stated, they can be hard so it's good to be there for each other if one of you is struggling with the distance more than usual. Any small issue can seem worse when you're further apart, so make sure you're open and honest and work through any issues or problems when they arise - don't leave them to get worse. 

If you have any comments or questions, leave them below and I'll happily respond. Also check out the links below for advice, tips and activities for long distance relationships!

WHAT EVERY PERSON IN A LDR SHOULD KNOW.

via HuffingtonPost.com

LOVINGFROMADISTANCE.com

A website with different activities, advice and inspiration for your LDR.

#13: The Bold Type // Grape Movie Marathon

Inspired by the life of "Cosmopolitan" editor in chief, Joanna Coles. The show is a glimpse into the outrageous lives and loves of those responsible for a global women's magazine. Their struggles are about finding your identity, managing friendships and getting your heart broken, all while wearing the perfect jeans to flatter any body type.

On the outside, this might seem like your typical chick show but it's so much more. It's a fantastic feminist show that explores different issues such as sexuality and abuse through the lives of three ladies. It's got all you want from a show, funny moments, dramatic moments and excitement! I found myself getting attached to the three main characters and watching their lives progress throughout the show and the different issues and situations they go through.

As well as being a great show, the soundtrack is also amazing and any show that has a soundtrack that I need is my life earns itself even more awesome points. If you're interested in checking out the soundtrack, it's on Spotify for your listening pleasure - find it here.

Overall, it's a fantastic show that I'd recommend to everyone looking for something new and exciting to watch. Seriously, go binge watch it in one day!

I rate it 4 out of 5 grapes.

Decades Special: The 80s // Weekly Playlist Update

It's time for 80s week of the Weekly Playlist Update Decades Special! So, get your Flock of Seagulls hairstyle and throw on your ruffled shirt and let's party like it's the 80s!

I'd like to say I'm a big fan of 80s music, with Depeche Mode being one of my all time favourite bands. They definitely don't make music like this anymore, so let's get into the classic hits I've picked for this week!

TRACK 1: Tainted Love / Soft Cell (1981)

A classic hit of the 80s that we have most likely danced to at a party when the DJ plays it, because what is a party without Tainted Love? Throw it on and dance like no-one is watching!

TRACK 2: But Not Tonight / Depeche Mode (1986)

I'll be honest, my favourite song of all time is Enjoy The Silence by Depeche Mode but this track is a very close second (and it was released in the 80s, unlike Enjoy The Silence..). While it may not be a classic, as far as I'm aware, it's still a fantastic track that I highly recommend!

TRACK 3: Mr. Blue / Yazoo (1983)

I wish I could say I've listened to Yazoo a lot but unfortunately, I know only a handfull of songs - Mr. Blue being one of them and easily my favourite. The chorus is what made me fall in love with the song, although I couldn't tell you exactly why other than maybe one or two of the lines I could relate to.

Happy Listening!

Story time w/ Grape // COMING OUT

Story time w/ Grape = me, talking to you, about a variety of different things. Got it? Good!

Today, I'm talking about COMING OUT and my experience with it.

FIGURING IT OUT.

I realised I was bisexual, which is what I first came out as, when I was 15. I was talking to a girl and the more we talked, the more my feelings for her grew and while for some, this may have been a big sign, it took me a few months after that for me to catch on. Although, having feelings for someone of the same sex doesn't necessarily mean that your sexuality is anything different to what your identify as - sexuality is fluid so just roll with it and identify with what you feel best suits you. 

When I realised, it was a light bulb moment - the light lit up and the realisation sunk in that I'm into girls. Sometime later, how much I can't remember now, I came out as lesbian. 

Looking back, I realised it was staring me in the face the whole time. Any interest in guys I had while at school was mostly based on my friends / other girls having interest in guys so that seemed like the normal thing to do. I'm not saying there wasn't some genuine interest there, I just knew that I'd rather put my effort into something other than chasing boys. I also had boyfriends while in school but again, it felt like things my friends made happen and I didn't have much interest in being couply with my new boyfriend. None of these relationship lasted long and never went further than a small kiss. 

Having feelings and relationships with other girls felt so normal as well, which is why I feel it took me sometime to realise my sexuality while it was happening because I never felt the need to question it. I also still find guys attractive, because much like every other person, I can appreciate when someone is attractive. 

COMING OUT TO MY FAMILY.

My mum was the first person I told. 

As random as it seems, it was during a MSN conversation we were in with someone she knew. They were talking about their dislike for homosexual people and how they were going to end up in ditches, which is when I chimed in that as a bisexual, I knew I wouldn't end up in any ditches. Later on that day, my parents asked me if I was bisexual and I said yes. When I realised I was lesbian, I told my mum again and that was that.

I've been fortunate that my parents, as well as my siblings, have been supportive. My dad will occasionally have conversations with me about how happy he is that I could tell them something like this, that he is supportive of me and he'd never have any issue with it. My mum did tell me that it took sometime getting used to, especially when it came to seeing me with my first girlfriend, but she is supportive and accepting of me. I've never experienced any negativity or discrimination from other family members, who found out from my parents either. 

I feel grateful to have the parents and family that I do because I know that not everyone will be meet with the same reaction when they come out to their families which I hate but unfortunately, the LGBTQIA community isn't something that is widely accepted in the world today - something I hope will one day change. 

COMING OUT TO OTHERS.

The coming out never stops because you're always meeting new people. Whether it be new friends, work colleagues or maybe in some situations, strangers. 

Unlike how I came out to my parents, I don't just straight up say "Hey, I'm a lesbian" because you don't see straight people telling others their straight, so I don't see the need to tell others I'm a lesbian. Instead, it's usually through conversations where I mention my partner, or something relating to my sexuality and it's done.

Again, I've never been met with any negativity or discrimination, although there has been a few instances when I've received comments like "How do you know you're gay if you've never been with a guy?" or "You're too pretty to be a lesbian". As well as other situations where despite knowing my sexuality, guys think they still have some sort of chance and that there will be just one kiss, or just one chance. I'd consider this, on some level, discrimination because it dismisses my sexuality in order to get what they want, with little or no respect to my lack of interest or desire to want to. 

There has also been times while out in public holding hands with my partner at the time, where people have given us dirty looks but in situations like that, I simply brush it off. A dirty look isn't going to stop me being who I am. 

SO..

That is my coming out experience, which compared to others is probably a walk in the park. As I previously said, I'm grateful to have very little negative experiences compared to others and I hope that one day, equality and equal rights for all of the LGBTQIA community is a reality and not something we have to fight for, the way we do today.

If you have any questions or comments, then make sure to leave them below and I'll happily respond. You can also check out the websites I listed below, if you're interested in more information on LGBTQIA and coming out, below!

AUTOSTRADDLE.com

News, entertainment and more for the ladies of the LGBTQIA.

STONEWALL.org.uk

A great site for help and advice, dedicated to making change happen.

ADVICE ON COMING OUT

Advice for all ages on coming out, via the Stonewall Website. 

#12: The Carmilla Movie // Grape Movie Marathon

It has been five years since Laura and Carmilla vanquished the apocalypse and Carmilla became a mortal human. Their domestic bliss is suddenly ruptured when Carmilla begins to show signs of "re-vamping" - from a fondness for bloody treats to accidental biting - while Laura has started having bizarre, ghostly dreams. The couple must now enlist their old friends from Silas University to uncover the unknown supernatural threat and save humanity - including Carmilla's.

If you didn't know already, Carmilla is a LGBT web series on youtube (series one, two and three to make it easier for you..) and I highly recommend you go and binge watch all three series of it now before going and buying the movie, which is available on Fullscreen. 

Now, onto the review! I am absolutely in love with both the series and movie, which I have seen twice since it's released which is a rarity, usually I'll watch a movie once and be done with it for a while. As a lesbian, finding a good, watchable LGBT movie isn't the easiest of tasks and yet this movie is perfect. Yes, it maybe about a vampire and her girlfriend who is having weird dreams linked to their past but still, it's perfect.

It has a little bit of everything, comedic moments mixed in with action and suspense and romance - something that I feel some lesbian movies struggle with yet this movie has pulled it off and put together a sex scene that I can enjoy knowing it's actually realistic compared to other films that seem to be filmed by someone simply guessing how it all goes down.

If you're into supernatural LGBT themed movies then this is for you, but I do recommend watching the Carmilla series prior as you might be left a little confused about what's going down in the movie. The movie is available via Fullscreen, as previously stated and this is currently the only way you'll be able to watch it but it is so worth it, trust me!

I rate it 5 out of 5 grapes.